May 5, 2010

Who am i?

I thought this whole identity crisis issues only emerge once u reach ur pre-teen stage and it'll fade away along with ur step towards adulthood, but now i'm guessing not. I still have issues with myself. I am still figuring out who i am. As much as i hate to admit it, but i do wander every night before i go and lay myself in bed about what kind of person i am, which type of individual i fall into and all those things that sometimes keep you awake for the entire night.

Sometimes i talk about things and i don't know why i said them. Sometimes i do things and i cannot figure out why i want to do them. I want to be like this but i am afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone. I want to be like that but i am scared those people around me might justify the actions i take. Or they might get hurt from the outcome. I don't want to be self-centered but sometimes i just cannot help it trying to protect myself from being hurt. I want to be casual, friendly and cosy and every positive values people look for in a friend but sometimes you just make it hard for me to turn that into reality. I try not to care. I try to take things lightly. I don't want to be bothered. Buat lek je it'll pass it'll pass but for how long can it lasts?

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